Dear Apple,
You didn’t ask for a résumé (CV – I’m bilingual). You didn’t post a listing. But I’m submitting this anyway, not because I want a job, but because I’d be very good at one.
I’m the creator behind The Cummins Accountability Project, a campaign built from scratch, self-edited, and rapidly gaining traction on X and beyond. In just a few weeks, I’ve launched a fully indexed blog, grown a fast-following audience, and produced content that blends investigation, credibility, tone control, humor (it’s like a native tongue), and bite. I’m challenging two multinationals with systemic issues using only time, language, and stubborn precision. That includes formal legal resistance and a social strategy that would make most brands retreat.
And I’ve done it all with no backing. No media platform. No PR team. No legal department. Just me, a browser, and some strategic intent. A real-time masterclass in asymmetric pressure. And despite what they tell themselves, it’s working.
So why am I writing to Apple?
Because you’re clearly watching. Me? Indirectly. Cummins? Absolutely. Cupertino doesn’t lurk for nothing. And if you’re looking for someone who can write, think, strategize (with a zee, not a zed), and adapt, this is a demonstration, not a pitch.
I’ve shown I can:
- Create compelling, high-traffic narratives from scratch
- Control tone across platforms, audiences, and moods
- Investigate, FOI, escalate, and still keep things human
- Understand the corporate psyche and bend it
- Do all of this with humor and unmatched flair
Would I relocate? For the right offer, sure. Somewhere with air conditioning and a pool. Oscar’s short-nosed and heat-sensitive, otherwise a more humble ask would suffice. But realistically, I’d probably settle for remote. You’re Apple, after all.
I’m not asking for charity, or hush money, or a lifeline. I’m offering range – creative, strategic, and psychological. If you don’t have a role for me, invent one. I’ll handle the rest.
For references, feel free to contact Jiten Kotecha or Wendy Miller. They’ll vouch for how unforgettable I am.
Yours in slightly surreal sincerity,
Lee Thompson
Founder, The Cummins Accountability Project