Ce-Unpac'd Special : Unilever Part One- The Rotten Core of a Global Giant

Unilever. The name’s plastered on your toothpaste, your ice cream, your bloody laundry detergent. They’re in your bathroom, your kitchen, your life – slimy tendrils of a corporate octopus that’s got its hooks in everything. But peel back the shiny packaging and the sanctimonious sustainability spiel, and what do you find? A festering pile of shit. Poisoned workers, exploited women, a planet drowning in plastic, and a marketing department that’s peddled racism like it’s going out of style. This isn’t a company; it’s a machine, chewing up lives and spitting out profit. Let’s rip the lid off this cesspit and take a long, hard look.

Mercury Poisoning in India: A Toxic Fuck-Up

Picture Kodaikanal, India – a hill station turned into Unilever’s personal dumping ground. Back in the day, they ran a thermometer factory there, churning out glass sticks filled with mercury like it was no big deal. Except it was. Workers were wading through toxic sludge, breathing in fumes that fucked their kidneys, their brains, their everything. By 2001, Tamil Nadu authorities shut it down after finding mercury waste scattered around like confetti – 18 tonnes of it, poisoning the soil, the water, the people.

Unilever’s response? Deny, deny, deny. “No health impacts,” they said, even as workers dropped dead or limped away with chronic illnesses. In 2016, they settled with 591 ex-employees, tossing them some cash on “humanitarian grounds.” Humanitarian? That’s a piss-take. They didn’t admit a damn thing, just paid to make it go away. The mercury’s still there, leaching into the ecosystem, a slow-motion disaster Unilever pretends doesn’t exist. Corporate negligence doesn’t get much uglier than this.

Plastic Pollution: Sachets of Doom

Now let’s talk plastic. Unilever’s obsessed with it – 53 billion unrecyclable sachets in 2023, to be exact. Little packets of shampoo, conditioner, detergent, all that single-use crap, flooding the world. They’re selling this junk in places like Southeast Asia and Africa, where waste management is a fantasy, and it ends up choking rivers, killing fish, piling up in slums. Billions of these bastards every year, and they don’t give a toss.

They tried some PR stunts – opened a CreaSolv plant in Indonesia to “recycle” sachets, then quietly ditched it when the cameras stopped rolling. Break Free From Plastic clocked them as the third-worst corporate plastic polluter in 2024, and what’s Unilever doing about it? Lobbying against sachet bans in Asia while spouting green promises they’ll never keep. It’s a disaster, and they’re the architects. The planet’s drowning in their rubbish, and they’re too busy counting the profits to care.

Sexual Harassment in Kenya: Tea and Tears

Over in Kenya, Unilever’s tea plantations were supposed to be a shining example of ethical sourcing. Bollocks. A 2023 BBC exposé blew the lid off: over 70 women, harassed and abused by managers who treated them like meat. These women – single mums, breadwinners – were told to fuck or get fired. Some ended up with HIV; all ended up with scars. One said, “I can’t lose my job because I have kids.” That’s the choice Unilever gave them.

They had a “zero tolerance” policy, but it was worth less than the paper it was written on. Reporting mechanisms? A sham. Protection? Non-existent. When the shit hit the fan, Unilever sold its tea business to Lipton Teas and Infusions faster than you can say “damage control.” Too late – the Fairtrade Foundation called it a “#MeToo moment for tea,” and Kenya’s government started sniffing around. Those women deserved better than to be pawns in Unilever’s plantation game.

Blood on the Tea Leaves: Ethnic Violence Ignored

Kenya’s seen more of Unilever’s failures. In 2007, post-election chaos turned the Kericho tea plantation into a slaughterhouse. Ethnic violence flared, and workers – Unilever’s workers – were caught in the crossfire. Seven dead, over 50 raped, countless injured. And Unilever? They sat on their hands. Despite warnings, they didn’t protect a soul, leaving people to die while they twiddled their thumbs in some cushy boardroom.

A group of 218 survivors, backed by Leigh Day, dragged Unilever to court, claiming the company breached human rights standards. The case is still grinding through the system, but the fact it’s there at all says everything. Blood’s on their hands, and they’ve spent nearly two decades dodging the blame. It’s not a one-off – it’s who they are.

Racist Marketing: Selling Stereotypes

Unilever’s marketing is a masterclass in hypocrisy. Take South Africa, 2020: they supplied Clicks with TRESemmé ads showing black hair as “dry and damaged” next to white hair labelled “normal.” The outrage was instant – protests, boycotts, the works. Unilever yanked the products for 10 days, mumbled an apology, and swore to “review” their approach. Review? They’ve been at this for years.

In 2016, they launched Magnum ice cream in Pakistan with a black man dripping in chocolate – subtle as a sledgehammer. Then there’s “Nogger Black” in Sweden, complete with graffiti vibes and a name that’s a racial slur with sprinkles on top. And the skin whitening creams – Fair & Lovely, Vaseline for Men – pushed hard in Asia and Africa, telling people their skin’s not good enough unless it’s pale. A 2020 petition nailed it: “RACISM for PROFIT.” Unilever talks diversity out one side of its mouth while cashing in on prejudice out the other. It’s vile.

Palm Oil: Promises Up in Smoke

Unilever’s supply chain is a horror show, and palm oil’s the star. They swore they’d go deforestation-free by 2023 – didn’t happen. Suppliers like Astra Agro Lestari are still torching forests in Indonesia, wiping out orangutans and tigers, and screwing over indigenous folks. Friends of the Earth has been screaming for Unilever to ditch them, but as of 2025, they’re still cosy.

Amnesty International traced palm oil from hellish plantations – child labour, forced labour, the lot – straight to Unilever’s doorstep. Their answer? More audits, more pledges, more hot air. The Environmental Investigation Agency and Rainforest Action Network keep catching them out, but Unilever’s too entrenched to give a damn. Sustainability’s just a buzzword when your bottom line’s soaked in palm oil profits.

Greenwashing: Caught Red-Handed

Unilever loves a good green lie. In 2023, the UK’s Competition and Markets Authority (CMA) launched a probe into their eco-claims – Dove, Cif, Persil, all that jazz. Vague labels, leaf logos, and recyclability promises that don’t hold up. Greenpeace has been on their case about those 53 billion sachets, and in 2022, the Advertising Standards Authority banned a Persil ad for bullshit claims about being “kinder to our planet.”

By April 2024, Unilever backtracked on its green goals, and campaigners lost their minds. One said the board should “hang their heads in shame.” The CMA’s still digging, but it’s clear: Unilever’s been selling us a fairy tale while the planet chokes. It’s not ignorance – it’s calculated.

The Reckoning

Unilever’s built an empire on denial. Deny the mercury deaths in India. Deny the rapes in Kenya. Deny the racism in their ads. Deny the forests they’ve razed. They’ve got the cash, the clout, the chance to fix this shit, but they won’t. Why? Because it’s easier to keep raking it in than to grow a spine.

This isn’t a glitch in the system; it’s the system. From the top brass to the factory floor, Unilever’s a machine that grinds up people and spits out PR. But the mask is slipping. You can see the rot now, and it stinks.

So what’s the move? Quit buying their crap. Call them out. Make them squirm. They won’t change unless we force them, and if we don’t, the next fuck-up’s already brewing. Unilever’s not your friend – it’s a predator in a pretty package.

Lee Thompson – Founder, The Cummins Accountability Project

Ce-Unpac’d Special : Unilever Part One- The Rotten Core of a Global Giant