Ce-UnPac’d Special : Tesco Part Three - Expired Rot, Green Lies, and Wage Shafting

If you thought the Tesco saga couldn’t get any grimier after the tax dodges and baby poison plots, strap in, because we’re scraping the bottom of the barrel now. This is the stuff that makes you question if these corporate overlords even pretend to give a toss about safety, the planet, or their own bloody staff. From flogging mouldy grub like it’s a game of chance to fudging eco-claims and stiffing workers on wages, Tesco’s scandals in Part Three are a masterclass in cutting corners and covering arses. It’s raw, it’s rotten, and it’s happening right under our noses in 2025. No sugar-coating here – just the gritty truth about a supermarket empire built on bullshit. Let’s tear into it.

Expired Food Roulette

Playing with Your Guts Back between 2015 and 2017, Tesco turned three Birmingham stores into a health hazard lottery, selling out-of-date food like it was going out of fashion – which it bloody well should have. Inspectors unearthed 67 dodgy items past their use-by dates: mouldy grapes, kids’ meals gone off, products up to 17 days overdue. We’re talking Russian roulette with customers’ safety, as the judge put it, slamming Tesco for a reluctant guilty plea and trying to argue the food was still edible. They copped a £7.56 million fine plus costs in 2021, apologised through gritted teeth, and promised better checks. But come on – how do you let that happen in the first place? It’s not a slip-up; it’s negligence that could poison punters for profit. Outraged? Damn right – your weekly shop shouldn’t come with a side of salmonella risk.

Greenwashing Bollocks

Plant Chef Eco-Lies In 2022, Tesco tried to ride the green wave with ads for their Plant Chef range, banging on about how swapping to plant-based burgers saves the planet. Bollocks. The Advertising Standards Authority banned the lot for misleading punters on environmental benefits – no solid evidence, just fluffy claims that screamed greenwashing. Tesco claimed it was all about inspiring change, but let’s call it what it is: deceptive marketing to cash in on eco-guilt while the planet burns. They pulled the ads and whined about the ruling, but the damage was done. In a world drowning in climate crisis, this shite erodes trust and lets real polluters off the hook. Tesco, you hypocritical pricks – if you’re going to preach sustainability, back it up or shut up.

Boardroom Sleaze

Chairman’s Dodgy Behaviour Fast forward to 2023, and Tesco’s chairman John Allan gets the boot amid a storm of misconduct allegations. We’re talking unwanted touching of female staff, sexist remarks at CBI events – the kind of creepy bollocks that has no place in any workplace, let alone the top of a FTSE giant. Allan denied most of it as baseless, admitting one regrettable comment, and Tesco’s internal probe found no evidence of wrongdoing. But the cloud was too thick; he stepped down, claiming the fuss distracted from business. This isn’t just one bloke’s mess – it’s a symptom of boardroom culture where power protects the privileged. The CBI scandal it fed into was a shitshow, and Tesco? They moved on like it was a minor hiccup. Furious? You bet – equality shouldn’t be optional for execs.

Copycat Clubcard

Ripping Off Lidl’s Logo From 2023 to 2024, Tesco got dragged through the courts for nicking Lidl’s yellow-circle logo vibe for their Clubcard Prices scheme. The High Court ruled it was a blatant copy, exploiting Lidl’s discounter rep to lure shoppers. Tesco lost the appeal, coughing up £8 million to redesign signage across stores. They whinged about the decision, but the judges weren’t having it – infringement, passing off, the works. It’s not innovation; it’s lazy theft from a rival, all to prop up their loyalty scam. In a cut-throat grocery war, this anti-competitive crap stifles choice and screws consumers. Tesco, you cheeky bastards – create your own brand instead of pinching others’.

Wage Delay Wankers

Below Minimum Pay In 2024, Tesco pulled a sneaky one on their staff, delaying a promised 9.1% pay rise by a month – leaving thousands earning below the national minimum wage and saving the company over £17 million. Workers were livid, especially since their union had signed off on it, and the cost-of-living crisis was biting hard. Tesco spun it as aligning with the new financial year, but that’s cold comfort when bills are piling up. It’s exploitation pure and simple, treating employees like line items on a balance sheet. In Britain today, where folk are scraping by, this is a kick in the teeth. Outrageous – pay your people properly, you tight-fisted gits.

Booker Bullying

Squeezing Out Local Shops Same year, 2024, and Tesco’s wholesale arm Booker gets accused of undercutting independents to drive them under. Village shopkeepers – many running post offices – say Tesco sells products cheaper in their own stores than via Booker, while restricting supplies and halting deliveries of essentials, slashing selections by up to 30%. It’s a squeeze play: hike prices for small traders, undercut them in Tesco outlets, and watch locals fold. Regulators are sniffing around for anti-competitive vibes, but Tesco denies it all, claiming fair play. Bollocks – this is monopoly muscle crushing community hearts. High streets are dying, and Tesco’s accelerating the funeral. Sickening, innit?

Waste Misreporting

Fudging the Figures Topping off 2024, Tesco’s food waste stats implode in a scandal of misdirection. They claimed a 45% reduction from 2016/17 to 2022/23, but an internal audit revealed surplus food meant for animal feed was dumped into anaerobic digestion instead. Real cut? Just 18%. They sacked the processor, restated the numbers, and vowed transparency, but it torpedoed their green creds. Thousands of tonnes wasted wrongly, all while preaching zero waste. It’s not a glitch; it’s systemic sloppiness undermining real progress on hunger and the environment. Tesco, you frauds – own your mess and stop the spin.

The Endless Filth

There it is: more Tesco turds polished as progress. Expired poison, eco-deceit, sleazy leaders, copycat scams, wage theft, shop-squashing, and waste lies. It’s a relentless grind of greed over good, leaving customers, workers, and the world worse off. Don’t just shop – shout, switch, demand change. Because if we keep feeding this beast, we’ll all end up choking on its crap.

Lee Thompson – Founder, The Cummins Accountability Project

Ce-UnPac’d Special : Tesco Part Three – Expired Rot, Green Lies, and Wage Shafting