The Canada Pension Plan Investment Board – CPPIB to the suits who run it – is supposed to safeguard the hard-earned cash of millions of Canadian workers, turning their sweat into secure retirements. Instead, it’s morphed into a bloated, hypocritical beast, chasing profits through a sewer of ethical nightmares. We’re talking billions funnelled into elder abuse rackets, surveillance tech that shreds human rights, fossil fuel orgies that torch the planet, and shady deals with war profiteers. And now, add Cummins Inc. to the mix. Yeah, those bastards.

First off, let’s confirm the obvious: CPPIB is indeed a shareholder in Cummins, the diesel engine giant that’s no stranger to playing dirty. As of late August 2025, they boosted their stake by over 73 percent, holding 182,873 shares worth around 57 million bucks. Not a massive slice of their 731 billion dollar pie, but enough to raise eyebrows. Cummins, if you recall, got slapped with a record 1.675 billion dollar fine in 2023 for installing defeat devices in hundreds of thousands of engines, cheating emissions tests and pumping poison into the air we all breathe. It’s Dieselgate 2.0, folks – another chapter in the Cummins ecosystem where “ethical behaviour” means gaming the system until you’re caught. So why the hell is CPPIB piling in? Is this just the latest in a long line of investors who view morality as an optional extra, like extra cheese on a burger? You bet your arse it is. These pricks aren’t investing in innovation; they’re betting on companies that cut corners, fuck the environment, and laugh all the way to the bank. And your pension? It’s the collateral.

But Cummins is just the tip of this festering iceberg. Dive deeper, and CPPIB’s portfolio reads like a rap sheet from hell. I’ve dug through the muck, and what I’ve found would make even the most jaded trader gag. Let’s break it down, raw and unfiltered.

The Orpea Horror Show: Pension Cash Propping Up Elder Torture

Picture this: frail old folks, the ones who built this country, left rotting in their own filth, starved, beaten down by a system designed to squeeze every last euro from their bones. That’s the nightmare at Orpea, Europe’s biggest nursing home chain, where CPPIB dumped hundreds of millions before the whole rotten edifice collapsed in 2022. French investigators uncovered systemic abuse – residents rationed to one diaper a day, malnourished to cut costs, while execs lined their pockets with embezzled funds. It was torture disguised as care, sparking criminal probes, a 650 million euro bailout, and CPPIB losing half a billion dollars of workers’ money.Fuck me, how did CPPIB miss the red flags? Or did they just not give a shit? They tout “sustainable investing,” but here they were, complicit in a for-profit elder mill that treated humans like livestock. They divested after the scandal blew up, netting a pathetic 26 million euros, but the damage was done. Canadian retirees funded this horror, and CPPIB’s oversight? A joke. It’s not just negligence; it’s a betrayal that stinks of greed over humanity.

The Great Underperformance Swindle: 46 Billion Down the Drain

If there’s one thing that pisses me off more than bad food, it’s watching bureaucrats burn cash like it’s kindling. CPPIB, this self-proclaimed wizard of finance, admitted in 2024 that over 18 years, they’ve underperformed a simple passive index benchmark by 42.7 billion dollars. Yeah, you read that right – Canadians would have been richer stuffing their money in low-cost ETFs. Instead, CPPIB ballooned into a “giant hedge fund,” chasing risky private equity and real estate bets, all while expenses skyrocketed to over 5.5 billion a year.Staff exploded from 150 to 2,100, with average pay over half a million and top dogs hauling in nearly four million each – five times what they made in 2006. Fees alone totalled 46 billion, including 3.5 billion to outside managers in 2024. It’s a rent-seeking racket, bleeding middle-class contributors dry while delivering jack shit in extra returns. One op-ed nailed it as a “travesty,” prioritising bureaucratic egos over retiree security. Outraged? You should be. This isn’t investment; it’s institutional theft.

Palantir’s Surveillance Nightmare: Funding Big Brother with Your Savings

Now, let’s talk about the dystopian crap. CPPIB shoved 229 million US dollars into Palantir Technologies before its 2020 IPO, making them the third-biggest institutional holder. Palantir, that Thiel-funded monster, powers mass surveillance for the US government – think ICE raids, family separations, detentions, and deportations that Amnesty International calls “human rights violations”.

Employees bolted over ethics, and the company’s setup gives founders unchecked power, dodging accountability like a pro. CPPIB’s investment tripled, but at what cost? They preach ESG principles, yet bankroll a firm profiting from immigrant misery and privacy rape. Critics scream that it makes Canadians “complicit in abuses,” echoing their past stakes in private prisons they dumped after backlash. Hypocrisy? It’s their middle name.

Fossil Fuel Fiasco: Net-Zero Lip Service While Torching the Planet

Ah, the climate charade. CPPIB pledged net-zero by 2050 in 2022, then quietly ditched it in 2025, burying the news like a bad secret. No interim targets, just billions poured into fracking, oil sands, and emitters like Exxon and Chevron – 714 billion in fossil-tied assets in 2024 alone.Board members with deep oil ties create “climate conflicts,” pushing profits over survival. Critics warn these bets could strand assets, nuking pensions as the world goes green. Shift Action calls it a “failure of duty,” with investments accelerating catastrophe. Net-zero? More like net bullshit.

Banking on Illegal Settlements: Complicity in Occupied Territories

Then there’s the geopolitical filth. CPPIB’s 27 billion dollars – 12.5 percent of the portfolio – in Israeli-linked firms includes stakes in UN-flagged companies operating in occupied Palestinian territories. Take WSP Global, designing the Jerusalem Light Rail that entrenches illegal settlements, violating international law and facilitating “forcible transfers.”

Over 100 groups demanded divestment in 2022, citing war crimes. Amid conflicts, it’s “blood money” risking backlash. CPPIB upped holdings in 11 blacklisted firms by 2022, ignoring parliamentary calls. Your retirement funding occupation? Unforgivable.

Mark Wiseman’s Sleazy Exit: Leadership Rot from the Top

Even the brass can’t keep it clean. Former CPPIB CEO Mark Wiseman, the golden boy, got axed from BlackRock in 2019 for a “consensual relationship” with a subordinate, breaching policy on office power plays. In the #MeToo era, it’s a stark reminder of unchecked egos. Wiseman landed soft at AIMCo, but whispers link him to CPPIB’s SNC-Lavalin ties during its bribery mess. Ethical rot starts at the helm.

SNC-Lavalin Shenanigans: Pension Ties to Political Sleaze

#Finally, the homegrown scandal. During the 2019 SNC-Lavalin affair – where Trudeau’s crew allegedly leaned on the AG to drop bribery charges – CPPIB was a major shareholder, alongside Quebec’s Caisse. Conflicts galore, with pensions potentially benefiting from deferred prosecutions.

In 2019, CPPIB bought SNC’s 10 percent stake in Highway 407 for 3.25 billion, a deal that screamed insider cosiness. It’s retiree money shielding corporate crooks, tangled in Liberal scandals and Brookfield deals. Disgusting.

In the end, CPPIB isn’t a guardian; it’s a predator, prioritising returns over righteousness. From Cummins’ emissions cheats to global atrocities, your pension’s stained with blood and bullshit. Time to demand better – or watch it all burn.

Lee Thompson – Founder, The Cummins Accountability Project

Shareholder Spotlight : Canada’s Pension Empire – How CPPIB Screws Retirees and the World for a Quick Buck