Unilever. A company so rotten, so steeped in scandal, that we had to turn this into a goddamn miniseries within our Ce-Unpac’d series. Yeah, you heard that right. This corporate behemoth’s fuck-ups are so numerous, so egregious, that two articles just weren’t enough. So here we are, part three, because apparently, there’s no end to the cesspool that is Unilever.
In part one, we tore into their mercury poisoning disaster in India, the plastic pollution choking our oceans, the sexual harassment and ethnic violence they turned a blind eye to in Kenya, their racist marketing, the palm oil destruction, and their greenwashing lies. Then, in part two, we dug deeper: price-fixing, child labour, violence against striking workers, and their colonial legacy of exploitation. But guess what? There’s more. So much more that it’s almost laughable – if it wasn’t so bloody infuriating.
Welcome to part three. Buckle up, because this ride’s about to get even uglier.
Salmonella in Your Cereal: A Breakfast of Champions?
Let’s start with a little food safety nightmare, shall we? Back in 2016, Unilever’s Telma cereals in Israel were found to be contaminated with salmonella. That’s right – salmonella, the bacteria that can make you shit yourself to death. And Unilever? They didn’t just have a little oopsie; they had a full-blown crisis on their hands. The Israeli Health Ministry suspended their manufacturing licence, and product recalls were issued after contaminated boxes made it to store shelves. Some even reached consumers. Imagine pouring a bowl of cereal for your kid, only to find out later it’s laced with bacteria. Fucking hell.
But here’s the kicker: Unilever initially refused to alert the public. Yeah, they sat on the information, hoping it would blow over. It didn’t. The media tore them apart, and rightfully so. The Health Ministry cited negligence in quality control, and Unilever’s response? A half-arsed apology and some legal manoeuvring to avoid the worst of the fallout. Class actions were filed, and the company faced threats to pull its licence entirely. This wasn’t just a mistake; it was a calculated risk with public health, and it blew up in their face.
Tax Avoidance: Robbing the Public Purse
Now, let’s talk money – specifically, how Unilever’s been accused of dodging taxes like it’s a sport. In 2020, reports surfaced that they’d underpaid hundreds of millions of pounds in taxes. We’re talking serious cash here, the kind that could fund schools, hospitals, or, you know, actually contribute to the societies they profit from. But no, Unilever allegedly exploited loopholes to keep their tax bill as low as possible, all while raking in billions.
When the allegations hit, Unilever trotted out their “responsible taxpayer” policy, but let’s be real: that’s just PR bullshit. The damage was done. This is a company that preaches about sustainability and ethics, yet when it comes to paying their fair share, they’re suddenly experts in financial gymnastics. It’s not just about the money; it’s about the hypocrisy. They want to be seen as a force for good, but behind closed doors, they’re playing the same dirty games as every other corporate giant.
Political Puppetry: Cutting Off Ben & Jerry’s
Fast forward to 2025, and Unilever’s at it again, this time wading into political waters. In early July, they cut millions in funding to Ben & Jerry’s charitable foundation after it was revealed the subsidiary was donating to pro-Palestinian groups. Now, Ben & Jerry’s has always been the rebellious child of the Unilever family, known for its progressive stances. But when they stepped into the Israel-Palestine conflict, Unilever pulled the plug – hard.
Social media exploded, with some calling it a punishment for Ben & Jerry’s stance against Israel’s actions in Gaza. Boycott calls followed, and suddenly, Unilever was in the middle of a geopolitical shitstorm. This isn’t just about charity donations; it’s about Unilever flexing its corporate muscle to control the narrative. They’re not just selling ice cream and soap; they’re playing politics, and it’s a dangerous game.
The Dirty Laundry: Toxic Chemicals and Animal Welfare
But wait, there’s more. Let’s not forget the toxic chemicals Unilever’s still using in their products. Parabens and phthalates – linked to health issues in multiple studies – are still lurking in their formulations. Ethical Consumer reports have called them out, but Unilever’s response? Crickets. They’d rather keep their profit margins fat than invest in safer alternatives.
And then there’s animal welfare. Unilever’s got a dismal rating from the Business Benchmark on Farm Animal Welfare – just an ‘E’ in 2023. Their stance on animal testing? Vague as hell. They claim to be against it, but there’s no clear prohibition, no transparency. It’s all smoke and mirrors, designed to placate consumers without actually changing a damn thing.
Oh, and let’s not forget their Rainforest Alliance certification for tea. Sounds good, right? Except it only requires 30% certified content and doesn’t guarantee a minimum price for producers. It’s greenwashing at its finest – slapping a label on it to make you feel better about your purchase, while the reality is far less rosy.
The Never-Ending Story
So here we are, part three of Unilever’s never-ending shitshow. From poisoning breakfast cereals to dodging taxes, from political meddling to peddling toxic products, this company’s rap sheet just keeps growing. And the worst part? They’re still out there, still raking in billions, still pretending to be the good guys.
But the mask is slipping. The more we dig, the more rot we find. And it’s not just about the past; it’s about the present and the future. Unilever’s not done screwing things up – they’re just getting started.
So what’s the move? Same as always: stop buying their crap, call them out, make them squirm. Because if we don’t, the next scandal’s already in the works. Unilever’s not your friend; it’s a predator in a pretty package, and it’s time we treated it as such.
Lee Thompson – Founder, The Cummins Accountability Project
Sources
- Haaretz: Unilever Israel – The Salmonella Crisis
- The Times of Israel: Unilever has license suspended for selling Salmonella-tainted cornflakes
- This is Money: Unilever facing allegations it underpaid hundreds of millions of pounds in tax
- Unilever: Responsible Taxpayer Policy
- New York Post: Unilever cuts off millions in funding to Ben & Jerry’s charity over donations to pro-Palestinian groups
- Ethical Consumer: Unilever Ethical Issues
- Business Benchmark on Farm Animal Welfare 2023